Newly appointed Chief Kadhi of Kenya Sheikh Athman Abdulhalim Hussein, in Nairobi on August 10, 2023.
[Boniface Okendo, Standard]
A court has ordered a man to find a home for his wife within six months to resolve ongoing conflicts between her and his mother.
In an interesting judgment on whether a married woman can live with her mother-in-law,
Chief Kadhi
Abdulhalim Athman said that it was the husband’s duty to ensure his wife enjoys her marital rights by providing proper shelter.
“It is his obligation, not the respondent’s, to look for independent accommodation for both his mother and wife,” the Chief Kadhi ruled.
He is hereby ordered to look for a one-bedroom self-contained apartment within Mombasa as their matrimonial house within sixty (60) days from the date of this judgment,” said Athman.
The conflict between the couple began when the man insisted on staying in his mother’s house. In a surprising turn, he later returned his wife to her parents’ home to “think things over.”
In his defense, the man claimed that his wife was aware, well before their marriage, that she would be living with his family. The man told the court he was the sole breadwinner and needed to care for his elderly mother.
However, his wife accused him of being arrogant, rude, and harsh. She revealed that he once sent her back to her parents’ home “to be taught manners.”
She blamed their marital woes on the constant presence of her mother-in-law, saying tensions worsened because of it. She added that she was willing to return—but only if he moved out of his mother’s house.
She further pleaded with the court to grant her custody of their two-year-old son, who was living with her estranged husband.
When asked about their occupations, the woman said she was unemployed but earned a small income by applying henna, while her husband worked as a data clerk at a private hospital.
The matter was initially referred for mediation.
The mediator narrowed their disagreement to one key issue—independence. The woman insisted on having her own home, while the man was adamant about her returning to his family’s house.
She told the mediator she was willing to start over in a bedsitter with a monthly rent of Sh8,000.
However, the man said he could only contribute Sh2,500 per month and maintained that he was not ready to leave his mother’s home. Athman ruled that while a man must care for his elderly parents, he must also recognise that his wife can only enjoy their marriage if she lives independently from his family.
Stay informed. Subscribe to our newsletter
He noted that although living with one’s parents may be commendable, incompatibility between in-laws can strain a marriage and eventually lead to divorce.
Athman emphasised that a man is required to provide for both his wife and parents according to his financial ability.
He ordered the man to secure a one-bedroom, self-contained apartment within 60 days for his wife to move into and provide Sh10,000 monthly for the upkeep of his wife and their son until they move into their new home.
“In such cases, a wife should enjoy respect and independence as a legally married woman. Where there is no agreement, or where co-living with in-laws has failed, she should not be forced to remain in that arrangement. However, this alone should not be grounds for annulling the marriage,” said
Athman
.
He added that a husband is obligated to provide separate accommodation for both his wife and parents, based on his financial ability.
While some families manage shared living successfully, many others struggle, often leading to divorce.
By Kamau Muthoni