We can all remember a date we have circled in our minds that brings memories of times and seasons when we were desperate.
We face desperate times by either going through some persisting difficulties or challenges which are normal for any person as life is never a straight line. Desperation is a cover emotion that sits on top of the real emotion which is despair. We mostly use desperation to escape from despair. It involves mass hopelessness, discouragement and a downcast feeling.
There is something about us when we are in a state of desperation; we simply lose our reasoning and judgment. We turn down our strength to think and to be rational and hence allow ourselves to be run by the high temperature of that moment.
When we are responding to those moments, our minds are convinced beyond reasonable doubt that there exists no possible solution and there cannot be another way out. It’s only later that we realise that the “then complex situation’’ that led us to make some reckless bad decisions was not that complex, it just needed a relaxed approach which we unfortunately did not have at that time. The ideal scapegoat we all use when trying to bounce back from a rather ugly desperate episode is “desperate times call for desperate measures”. How we have exploited this phrase is beyond logic. We will take poisoned water just because we are thirsty, getting ourselves in a lot more trouble.
Desperation has left people with ugly scars which become a constant reminder of the choices they made while under highly stressful phases.
Life will once in while throw us some desperate seasons and when they find us, we have to look for a way of sailing through since there is never really an attested guide on how to face these times. While it’s very normal to go through such times, it is unwise to share your anguish with everybody.
It is completely okay for people to know you are going through some challenges but very unfortunate to let people in on how desperate you feel. We always want to be careful about who knows that much because we are in interesting times. It’s no longer a wonder that people are starting to cash in on your desperation. While it is unthinkable for people to take advantage of people in such states, it is happening and starting to feel like it’s normal.
Joblessness is becoming that cash cow that is earning people millions of monies simply by duping those desperately in need of jobs. This is how we found ourselves as a country in the Middle East job troubles which might not end anytime soon.
This is how we found ourselves paying to be employed. While we have people who have come back and confirmed that they earned their jobs through parting with some good amounts, it just doesn’t sound right. How is it that you are unemployed but also entertain the idea of bribing to start earning? Things don’t go wrong, they start wrong and paying to start earning ushers you off into a wrong start.
Paying to be prayed for is another and the list is quite long. The question at this point is, when shall we stop making key decisions from a desperate space. Can we, when we face desperate times like being jobless or other hardships, apply a little bit of awareness that the rash or impulsive decisions we make from that state could worsen the situation and lead to negative consequences? We should encourage ourselves that there is never a permanent season in life, a desperate phase will ultimately end.
Ms Muthoni is an administrative assistant
By Nancy Muthoni