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Home»Columnists»Small ways of catching big thieves could deter minions sharpening their nails
Columnists

Small ways of catching big thieves could deter minions sharpening their nails

By By Peter KimaniSeptember 4, 2025No Comments4 Mins Read
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Small ways of catching big thieves could deter minions sharpening their nails
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Controller of Budget Margaret Nyakang’o appears before MPs on Public Debt & Privatisation at Bunge Towers, Nairobi. May 30, 2025. [Elvis Ogina, Standard]

Alright, alright, the State House delegations that former Prezzo Mwai Kibaki banned, terming them bure kabisa, are back in full swing. And a cool One Billion shillings and change was spent hosting and entertaining such delegations last year alone.

I understand there was a time when politicians would be invited to the Money Room in State House and asked to eat all they could, which meant stuffing cash in their socks, underwear, into the belly, back, and even swallowing a bit, hoping to spit it out at home.

The idea was that the presidency was the gateway to instant riches, influence and affluence. And of course there were the roadside declarations that meant nothing then. Now even speeches in formal spaces, even on hallowed national days, mean nothing at all.

The Controller of Budget is equally miffed at the number foreign trips the presidency continues to engage in, with zero returns to citizens. I wouldn’t sweat it, to be honest. One thief who bought a house in Dubai and sent his son to live there, while attending school, wept in public that he was depressed because the young man had dropped out of school and returned home, possibly damaged for life.

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I hear another big thief who also stashed his loot in Dubai is desperate to access the cash, after the accounts were frozen on suspicion that they were proceeds of crime. Which is to say they aren’t doing much, even after robbing the public blind. This is a cautionary tale to future thieves, one might think, but each thieving minion sees themselves as cleverer than the rest of us. Dunia duara, they will discover, soon.

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Alright, alright, the State House delegations that former Prezzo Mwai Kibaki banned, terming them bure kabisa, are back in full swing. And a cool One Billion shillings and change was spent hosting and entertaining such delegations last year alone.

I understand there was a time when politicians would be invited to the Money Room in State House and asked to eat all they could, which meant stuffing cash in their socks, underwear, into the belly, back, and even swallowing a bit, hoping to spit it out at home.

The idea was that the presidency was the gateway to instant riches, influence and affluence. And of course there were the roadside declarations that meant nothing then. Now even speeches in formal spaces, even on hallowed national days, mean nothing at all.
The Controller of Budget is equally miffed at the number foreign trips the presidency continues to engage in, with zero returns to citizens. I wouldn’t sweat it, to be honest. One thief who bought a house in Dubai and sent his son to live there, while attending school, wept in public that he was depressed because the young man had dropped out of school and returned home, possibly damaged for life.

Follow The Standard
channel
on WhatsApp

I hear another big thief who also stashed his loot in Dubai is desperate to access the cash, after the accounts were frozen on suspicion that they were proceeds of crime. Which is to say they aren’t doing much, even after robbing the public blind. This is a cautionary tale to future thieves, one might think, but each thieving minion sees themselves as cleverer than the rest of us. Dunia duara, they will discover, soon.

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Published Date: 2025-09-04 00:00:00
Author:
By Peter Kimani
Source: The Standard
By Peter Kimani

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