To most parents, January arrives loudly. For many families, it marks toddlers starting school, children moving to new grades, and adolescents stepping into unfamiliar academic and social territory. New calendars come with new school terms, new fees, new routines, and new promises.
“I have told myself that in 2026, I will be more patient, more present, less tired, and less angry,” says Shem Alunga, a father of four. “Every year, I feel like I owe my children a better version of myself.”
But somewhere between the first school run, unpaid bills, and unfinished emotional business from the year that ended, reality settles in.
“Nothing much changes just because the year has changed,” says educationist and parenting author Prof Rebecca Wambua. “Our children are the same, and so are we.”
It is here, she explains, that parenting intentions must replace parenting resolutions.
Why parenting resolutions often fail
According to Prof Wambua, resolutions assume perfection, yet parenting is deeply human, messy, and unpredictable.
“Resolutions demand dramatic change,” she explains. “Parents say things like, ‘I will never shout again,’ ‘I will always be fully present,’ or ‘I will balance everything perfectly.’ These are unrealistic expectations that leave parents feeling guilty when they inevitably fall short.” Intentions, on the other hand, make room for humanity.
Wambua says children do not need perfect parents, but consistent, emotionally available ones. She explains that when parents replace rigid resolutions with flexible intentions, they shift from performance to presence, and from pressure to connection.
Children, experts agree, do not reset on January 1st, but instead they carry with them last year’s fears, unfinished questions, emotional wounds, growth spurts, academic pressure, shifting friendships, and sibling rivalry.
“When parents expect instant transformation because the calendar has changed, children begin to feel like projects instead of people,” Prof Wambua observes.
Intentional parenting, she explains, asks different questions: Who is my child becoming? What do they need more of this season? What can I realistically offer?
Family coach Catherine Mugendi explains that intentional parenting is less about grand gestures and more about rhythm.
“Intentional parenting is about rhythm, not performance,” she says. “It’s choosing what you will return to, not what you will never fail at.
Parenting while carrying your own weight
Intentions, she explains, sound like: I will repair after conflict. I will listen before correcting, or, I will check in, even when tired.
According to Mugendi, January parenting does not happen in a vacuum. Many parents begin the year grieving losses, financially stretched, emotionally exhausted, or overwhelmed by expectations they feel ill-equipped to meet.
“Children don’t need parents who hide their struggle,” says psychologist David Munyasia. “They need parents who model emotional honesty and regulation.”
When parents acknowledge, ‘I’m tired today,’ or ‘I’m learning too,’ and offer opportunities to try again, children learn resilience without fear.
“Emotional honesty teaches children that difficulty is not failure,” Munyasia explains. “It teaches them that emotions can be felt, managed, and survived.”
Rather than big declarations that collapse under pressure, Munyasia advises parents to settle for small, repeatable rhythms. These might include: One daily check-in question, a weekly shared meal, one monthly one-on-one moment, and one consistent bedtime or morning ritual.
“Such rhythms create emotional safety,” he says. “They are far more powerful than rules alone.”
Over time, these small acts communicate availability, predictability, and care, the foundations of emotional security.
Contrary to popular belief, January is not for fixing children.
“It is for observing them,” says Munyasia. “Who did they become last year? What changed? What are they struggling with quietly?”
Prof Wambua agrees, adding that intentional parenting begins with curiosity, not correction.
“When parents slow down enough to observe rather than rush to fix, they discover what their children actually need. They do not what society tells them they should be addressing,” she says.
Letting go of comparison
January is also the season of comparison. “Social media is filled with organised homes, colour-coded routines, disciplined children, and parents who appear to have everything figured out,” says Mugendi. To many parents, she says, this creates quiet shame and unnecessary pressure.
But parenting is not a competition. “Every family has a different capacity, season, and reality, and comparing your parenting journey to others only disconnects you from your own child,” says the family coach.
Intentional parenting invites parents to let go of external benchmarks and focus inward on their child’s needs, their own limits, and what is sustainable for their family.
Munyasia says parenting intentions are not confined to January, but instead they stretch across the year, allowing for pauses, missteps, repair, and growth. He names some intentional parenting statements as: I will keep showing up. I will keep learning, and I will keep choosing connection.
“This he says, is because children do not need new parents every January, but steadier ones,” he explains.
As the year begins, perhaps the most important question is not what kind of parent do I want to become, but: What kind of parent can I realistically be, and return to in 2026?