Back-to-school glow fades as parents, children adjust to reality

One week into the school term, the excitement has quieted. The new shoes are no longer spotless. The neatly covered books have begun to curl at the edges. Alarm clocks are no longer suggestions. They are demands, and in many homes, the reality of school life has settled in, not loudly, but steadily.

For 38-year-old Esther Achieng’, a mother of four in Meru, the first week has been a test of endurance.

“The first day is always beautiful,” she says. “You take pictures, you feel proud, you breathe a little, but now the real work has begun with fees reminders coming in, shopping lists are growing, and you realise the term is a marathon, not a moment.”

In Wote, Makueni, Ambrose Kilonzo’s laughter from last week’s shopping trip has softened into routine discipline.

“The fun part is over; now we are dealing with homework, early mornings, and moods. One of my children already says school is ‘too much’ so now I have to step in, not just as a provider, but as a coach,” he admits.

Prof Rebecca Wambua, an educationist, counsellor and author of parenting guide books, says that the shift from preparation to participation is where many families find themselves one week into school.

“This is because back-to-school is not a day, but it is a transition,” she says.

The emotional aftermath of reopening

In Isiolo, Halima Abdi has noticed something subtle but significant in her daughter.

“The stomach aches didn’t come on day one; they came on day four, that is when the excitement ended, and reality started,” she says.

Halima’s daughter, now deep into the school routine, has begun expressing worry about class performance and friendships.

“I realised it is not just about school, but it is about pressure, mine and hers,” she reflects.

Family coach Catherine Mugendi explains that this delayed emotional response is common.

“Children often hold it together during the first few days, but once routines settle, their true feelings emerge – fatigue, anxiety, even resistance, and parents need to understand that week one is when adjustment really begins, not ends,” she explains.

Nine-year-old Brian Utuoma puts it simply: “I still miss home, but now I also have homework,” he argues.

For thirteen-year-old Grace Mwololo, who recently joined junior secondary, the first week has been a mix of courage and quiet doubt.

“At first, I was excited to join Junior School, but now I am thinking, will I understand everything? Will I keep up?”, she says with anxiety.

And yet, she adds with a small smile, “I am still happy about my new shoes.”

Mugendi says that duality, hope and uncertainty, is the emotional landscape of many children right now.

Settling takes time, and intention

Child psychologist David Mutua describes this period as a “secondary adjustment phase.”

“The first adjustment is physical, waking up, getting to school, following routine, and the second is psychological, feeling competent, connected, and confident. That is what begins in the first week,” he explains.

Teachers are seeing it too. Mark Kiprono, a primary school head teacher in Eldoret, says classrooms tell a different story after a few days.

“In week one, you begin to see who is settling and who is struggling. Some children become quieter, others act out, and some lose focus. This is when parents need to stay engaged, not step back,” says the headteacher.

According to Kiprono, the biggest mistake parents make is assuming the job is done once children are back in school.

“That is just the beginning. Support must continue at home,” he advises.

It is not only children who are adjusting. Across households, parents are also navigating their own return to structure.

The 5 am alarms are no longer temporary. The financial pressures are clearer, and the emotional letting-go is ongoing.

“Last week, I was just trying to get everything in place, but this week, I am trying to sustain it,” says Raphael Githinji, father to two school-going teenagers.

For single parents like Halima, the pressure can feel even heavier. “You cannot show too much worry, because your child is watching you. However, inside, you are calculating everything – school fees, food, transport, and still trying to be calm,” she says.

Dr Mutua says this emotional balancing act matters more than parents realise.

“Children read their parents’ emotional state, and if a parent is constantly tense or overwhelmed, the child absorbs that stress. However, if a parent shows steady reassurance, even in uncertainty, it creates a sense of safety,” explains the expert.

From Control to Connection

One week into school is also when parenting styles are tested.

The temptation to control homework, performance, and discipline can be strong. Experts say connection matters more.

“This is the week to ask questions, not give instructions. Instead of ‘Have you done your homework?’ try ‘How was your day?’” Advises Prof Wambua.

She further explains that it is in these small conversations that children begin to open up.

Prof Wambua says for younger children, the need is even simpler as belonging, not performance, is their biggest concern.

Beyond individual families, the rhythm of school has returned to the community.

Matatu stages are busy again. Uniforms hang on evening lines, as homework is discussed in kitchens and living rooms. School is not just an institution, but a part of the village.

“Parents sometimes think education happens only in school. However, it is a partnership because when parents check in, encourage, and communicate with teachers, children thrive. That partnership becomes even more important after the first week, when early signs of struggle or strength begin to show,” says teacher Kiprono.

If the first day of school is a moment, the first week is a mirror. It reflects not just how prepared parents are, but also how we adapt they are. It shows parents where their children are confident and where they need support. It reveals the parents’ own strengths and limits as parents.