If parenting came with a manual, many parents would have ordered the express delivery version, and then the next day, there would be no confusion or guesswork.
But here we are: learning on the job, sometimes whispering into the night, “Am I doing this right?”
That is where The Hows steps in, not with judgment, not with jargon, but with an ease that feels like sitting with a trusted friend who has walked the parenting maze and returned with a map.
The Hows: A friendly guide for parents raising the next generation is a book by Dr Rebecca Mwikali Wambua
In the book, Dr Wambua writes with empathy, grounded science, and relatable humour. The beauty of the book is not in what it tells parents to do, but how gently it guides them to understand why children act the way they do, and how a parent can respond in ways that build connection, confidence, and character.
Practical steps
The Hows is not a manual or textbook; it reads like a heartfelt conversation grounded in research, faith, and real experience. Each chapter offers simple, practical “how-to” steps.
The conversation is between parents, teachers, and anyone entrusted with a child’s life. The book breaks down parenting and teaching into simple, actionable “how-to” steps rooted in both psychology and spirituality.
To see a child’s gift early, Dr Wambua urges parents to watch, not rush.
“Observe how your child reacts to the world; that’s where their gift lies,” she writes. Whether it’s curiosity about insects, a love for helping others, or a knack for fixing things, these small clues reveal purpose.
She challenges the traditional idea that discipline equals punishment. “Children learn best through modelled behaviour, not fear,” she notes. Her method encourages calm correction, explaining the why behind the rule, and affirming love even in correction.
For Dr Wambua, faith is not in conflict with knowledge. “Faith gives children roots. Education gives them wings,” she writes.
Parents are encouraged to pray with their children, not just for them, nurturing both moral and intellectual growth.
She notes that children thrive when parents and teachers walk in unity, not suspicion. “We are co-labourers,” she says. “The child’s success is a shared mission.”
Teaching emotional intelligence
She says emotional intelligence is the missing ingredient in many homes. “Teach children to name their emotions. Validate their feelings. That’s how confidence and empathy are born.”
“Children behave to communicate, not to frustrate,” writes Dr Wambua. This single line reframes so many everyday battles – from tantrums to teenage silence.
She points out that emphasising that naming emotions is not weakness; it’s wiring resilience. Parenting is a relationship, not a performance.
If you have ever wished parenting came with clarity, compassion, or simply a softer place to land, The Hows is the kind of handbook you will dog-ear, underline, and return to again and again. This is not a book you read once. It is a guide you grow with.
The Hows is a book for new parents navigating early years, parents of tweens and teens, teachers, caregivers, aunties, uncles – anyone raising or influencing children.
What stands out
The tone: Warm, reassuring, and refreshingly non-academic. It’s written for real parents, not “perfect parents.”
Practicality: Instead of giving idealistic theory, the book offers doable steps, language swaps, emotional scripts, real scenarios.
Local relevance: Though informed by global research, the examples feel culturally grounded. Reading the book makes parents will feel seen, not lectured.