American singer Kehlani has opened up about her troubled childhood, revealing how her parents’ struggles with drug addiction and imprisonment shaped her early years and strained her relationship with her mother.
Speaking during the first episode of Live From the Hole, filmed at the California Institution for Women in Chino, California, the singer recalled that her mother was arrested at the hospital shortly after she was born.
Kehlani said her mother was on the run when she went into labour, while drug use led to her being born prematurely and experiencing withdrawal symptoms as an infant.
She was subsequently taken in and raised by her aunt in Oakland, California, a move she credits with saving her life.
“I remember as a kid and then saying that they took my mum. My mum was on the run when she had me. And when she goes to labour and upon me getting to the hospital, they took her in and arrested her. We don’t have a relationship at all, I was raised by my aunt,” the singer said.
Kehlani’s father also had a troubled past. She said he joined a gang while serving time at Centinela State Prison and was killed in a gang-related incident less than a year after his release. She was about one or two years old at the time.
“Both my parents were incarcerated. My father joined a gang when he was in Centinela State Prison and died less than a year later because of it. My mother was in and out of prison. She was actually here, some of you know her,” she said.
The singer also recalled how she was misled about her mother’s absence, with adults telling her that her mother was either “on vacation” or “at work”.
Although her mother later returned to her life, her ongoing struggle with addiction and difficulties finding employment after prison contributed to their estrangement.
“The little hurt girl in me had to do visits and didn’t have her around. Even when she got out, she had an addiction struggle so we don’t have a relationship as adults,” Kehlani said.
She added that her mother’s attempts to overcome addiction were complicated by the challenges former prisoners face when seeking employment, creating what she described as an endless cycle of instability.
“I am a mother as well, healing a little girl while raising a little girl. I remember her trying to get clean and not being able to stay clean so that she could get a job. She also couldn’t get a job because she was a felon. There was an endless cycle of her not being okay,” she said.
The Grammy-winning singer said forgiving her mother remains difficult because she struggles to take responsibility for her actions, leaving Kehlani feeling compelled to provide emotional support rather than receive it.
“My mother has never been accountable. She completely shuts down and becomes guilty and starts crying. She is like, ‘I am so guilty, stupid…’ and I don’t know how to comfort her from that,” she said.